Comp Banner

February 19, 2010

The DHL

In an effort to stir the creative pot I have come up with a little project.

Introducing the DHL!



Normally, there would be a logo above, but I have not come up with one yet (concepts welcome). And if I did it would look like an 8 year old drew it in Paint.

What is the DHL? The DHL is the Defunct Hockey League. It is made up of 16 mostly former NHL teams. They are split into 2 conferences and 4 divisions of 4.

The teams are...

Starting in the West, or known as the Saskin Conference. Which, is named after former disgraced NHLPA director Ted Saskin.

Peter Pocklington Division
Minnesota North Stars, who's former arena (Met Center) has been demolished, forcing them to play home games for free at newly built rink at Mall of America.

Colorado Rockies which are owned by the MLB's Rockies owners Charlie & Dick Monfort. In an effort to expand the Rockies name they cross brand the hockey and baseball teams, making the new hockey colours purple and black.

Oakland, California Golden Seals who were not able to decide on a full name so they just jammed it all in there. They are promising fans a golden jersey.

Vancouver Millionaires who are owned by Cyclone Taylor's great great grandson, Cyclone Taylor III. Taylor also happens to be the GM, coach, and star player.

The other division in the Saskin conference


Alan Eagleson Division

Cleveland Barons who’s last incarnation was as the San Jose Sharks AHL affiliate.


Kansas City Scouts who are one of the only teams in the league to play in an arena with a capacity of over 10,000. Hey, the have to do something with the Sprint Center.


St. Louis Eagles play home games at IceZONE, the practice facility of the Blues. Only when the Blues aren’t practicing of course. A few games have been known to be cancelled due to schedule conflicts.


Winnipeg Jets who are another team who play in front of over 10,000. John Ferguson Jr. owns this team in honour of his dad, John Sr. (former GM). JFJ named himself GM and is in the process of building the Jets in the style of his tenure with the Maple Leafs.


To the east, and we find the Mike Danton Conference. Of course, Danton served jail time for hiring a hitman.


The first division in the Danton Conference,

Harold Ballard Division

Brooklyn Americans who are owned by Donald Trump, but he doesn’t know that. Someone put the papers on his desk and he signed them out of habit.


Hamilton Tigers who were almost purchased by Jim Balsillie. When Gary Bettman got word that Jim was trying to buy a hockey team Bettman swooped in and purchased the defunct Tigers for $455 million. $1,000,000 than Balsillie had to offer.


Hartford Whalers who were already owned by the city of Hartford. The Whalers thusly, were the only team to enter the league for free.


Toronto St. Pats were also almost owned by Jim Balsillie. Again, when word got out that Balsillie was interested Leaf ownership bought the St. Pats. MLSE then decided that the Maple Leafs will also play St. Pats games.



Jim Balsillie Division

(originally the Del Baggio Division, but Jim purchased the rights to the name and renamed the division after himself)

Macon Whoopee who are in the league because retired Canadians who go south for the winter were crying for a team. The state of Florida wouldn’t take a team, so they moved the team up one state. Jim Balsillie was able to buy this team because no one else wanted it. Two conditions, he’s not allowed to move it or rename it.


Montreal Maroons who built a rink at the Pepsi Forum (formerly the Montreal Forum, now a shopping mall). They claimed they were taking back what was rightfully theirs in the first place.


Ottawa Senators, not the current ones. The old ones. Eugene Melnyk has threatened to sue over the “O” logo, but current owner Prime Minister Stephen Harper claims, “I don’t care, I make the rules in this country!”


Quebec Nordiques who are owned by Celine Dion. She purchased them because she, “loves the shade of blue in their sweaters.” Thusly the colours of the Nords will never change.



So, if anyone has any concepts that they would like to contribute to this little project (jerseys, league logo, anything) email them in [concepts@hockeyjerseyconcepts.com]


No comments: